| 1 |
There was an accident at Santa’s workshop and a bookcase collapsed.Now there’s a shelf on an elf. |
| 2 |
What do you call an elf who gives up his shelf for others to sit on?Shelfless. |
| 3 |
What do you call a female elf?Shelf. |
| 4 |
What’s the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf?Mensch on a bench. |
| 5 |
Knock, knock.(Who’s there?)Candy.(Candy who?)Candy you see me on the shelf? I’m watching you! |
| 6 |
Did you know that my great uncle Chuck started the elf on a shelf tradition?Well, actually, he was a drunk on a bunk, but we toned it down for the kids. |
| 7 |
What do you call an elf on a shelf wearing earmuffs?Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you. |
| 8 |
What do you call an elf who can’t walk?A shelf decoration—oh, and Legoless too! |
| 9 |
Why did the Elf on the Shelf bring a ladder to the Christmas party?Because he wanted to get higher on the shelf! |
| 10 |
What’s the Elf on the Shelf’s favorite game?Hide and shelf! |
| 11 |
Why was the Elf on the Shelf so good at math?Because he was great at shelving his problems! |
| 12 |
Why did the Elf on the Shelf sit on the fireplace?He wanted to heat things up! |
| 13 |
Knock, knock.(Who’s there?)Cookie.(Cookie who?)Cookie you believe the Elf on the Shelf caught you sneaking a treat? |
| 14 |
Why did the Elf on the Shelf go to therapy?He had a lot of “elf”-doubt. |
| 15 |
Why did the Elf on the Shelf bring a pencil to the North Pole?Because he wanted to draw attention. |
| 16 |
Why can’t the Elf on the Shelf ever find his way home?Because he always gets stuck on the shelf! |
| 17 |
How do you make the Elf on the Shelf laugh?Tell him a shelf joke! |
| 18 |
What does an elf on the shelf learn in preschool?The elf-abet. |
| 19 |
What’s every elf on the shelf’s favorite type of music?Wrap. |
| 20 |
What do you call an elf on the shelf with a personal trainer?Elfy. |
| 21 |
What kind of jokes would a depressed elf on the shelf tell?Elf-deprecating. |
| 22 |
What do you call an elf on the shelf that lives in New York City?A metrognome. |
| 23 |
What do you call a rich elf on the shelf?Welfy. |
| 24 |
What do you call an elf on the shelf that goes rogue?A rebel without a Claus. |
| 25 |
Why can’t you borrow money from an elf on the shelf?Because they’re always a little short. |
| 26 |
What do you call an elf who hasn’t been out in years?A shelfed elf. |
| 27 |
What do you call a pre-teen elf on the shelf?Twelvish. |
| 28 |
To what animal does an elf need to connect to become a real creature?To an Ant, It becomes an elphant. |