| 1 |
What do Barcelona FC and a dog walker with Parkinson’s have in common?Neither of them can hold a lead. |
| 2 |
Why should Gavi switch to poker?Bluffing seems to be his strong suit. At least there, a yellow card wouldn’t get him suspensions or sent offs! |
| 3 |
What is the difference between Xavi and Rihanna?Xavi is getting more knocks in Europe than Rihanna got from Chris Brown. |
| 4 |
Pedri’s become the resident expert at physiotherapy clinics.Maybe they should give him a lifetime membership as a ‘thank you’! |
| 5 |
Did you hear that Xavi feels h*rny before ElClásico?That is why Real Madrid F*cked him. |
| 6 |
Where are the most fans of Barcelona?In Spain but ‘S’ is silent. |
| 7 |
Xavi must be saving Ferran for the big games,Like family dinners with Luis Enrique! One misplaced pass and it’s a lifetime of washing dishes. |
| 8 |
Who was the latest victim of the Drake Curse?Barcelona. |
| 9 |
Did you hear about the new club in Catalonia?They are called FC Barcelever. |
| 10 |
What would have happened if Pique was playing for Sidemen FC?Even Speed’s goal would have been counted. |
| 11 |
What do you call a guy from Barcelona without a car?Carles. |
| 12 |
Did Barca forget to pay the refs again today?Hard to pay when you have no money. |
| 13 |
What should you never ask a man? His salary.A woman? Her age.And Barcelona fans? About what they did with Neymar’s money. |
| 14 |
Did you hear that the Official FC Barcelona store can’t print Lewandowski jerseys because they are out of ‘W’ letter?Some jokes just write themselves. |
| 15 |
Why did the soccer ball go to the team’s party?Because it heard ter Stegen might not catch it! |
| 16 |
What is Ferran Torres doing at the bench?Thinking of ways to kidnap Dembele. |
| 17 |
What is the difference between you and Barcelona?None, both will watch Tuesday night football sitting at home. |
| 18 |
Did you hear that Xavi is such a good coach that he generally takes his players to dinner?On Thursday nights. |
| 19 |
What do this season’s European results mean for Barcelona?They will be soon Brokelona again. |
| 20 |
What do you get when you remove 99 from 100?Lewandowski’s finishing on FIFA 24. |
| 21 |
What are the Cules listening to on Spotify?Europa League Anthem. |
| 22 |
Did you hear that Barcelona is activating the fifth lever?Europa League lever. |
| 23 |
How does Barcelona handle Pique?With Piqué they have to be calm as there will always be goals. |
| 24 |
What is the most googled term in Catalonia?“Why the Europa League is better than the Champions League?” |
| 25 |
What is the only break Barca fans hate?International break. |
| 26 |
There are rumors that Laporta is furious with Xavi. Xavi is furious with some players, and the players are furious with everyone.The players: Biscuits, Pigass, Albass, and Roberslow. |
| 27 |
Did hear about another record broken by Pedri?First golden boy to play in the Europa League back to back. |
| 28 |
Why did Frenkie de Jong join FC Barcelona?To become a Europa League Benchwarmer. |
| 29 |
Why is Gavi so highly rated?Because his name rhymes with Xavi. |
| 30 |
What happens when Barcelona wins UCL?Nothing, cule switches off the Xbox. |
| 31 |
What do Barca fans use as birth control?Their personalities. |
| 32 |
Have you heard about the Barcelona footballer who was arrested for tax evasion?His tax returns were alleged to be Messi. |
| 33 |
Why would Barcelona players not gonna eat anything till morning?Remembering they 8-2 much few years ago. |
| 34 |
Liverpool is a good team, but have you seen Barcelona?They’re out of their league. |
| 35 |
What do FC Barcelona and Man Utd have in common?Both play a bunch of Young Boys and lost. |
| 36 |
My friend was visiting from Barcelona, and he asked me if he could crash on my couch.I wasn’t expecting some kind of Spanish imposition! |
| 37 |
The teacher is asking everyone in the class what jobs their parents have, and she comes to Jimmy next.Teacher: What does your father do?Jimmy: He works as a stripper in a h*mosexual bar and frequently allows other men to touch his privates.Jimmy is taken to one side by the teacher after class.Teacher: Is it correct about your father?Jimmy: No, he’s an FC Barcelona player, but I was too embarrassed to say so. |
| 38 |
What do Barcelona fans do when their team wins UCL?They turn off their PlayStation 5. |