| 1 |
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?Because it wasn’t born yesterday. |
| 2 |
Do you know that abortion isn’t murder?It’s just canceling your pre-order. |
| 3 |
What is the best name for an abortion clinic?Don’t Kid Yourself. |
| 4 |
Yo mama so hunchbacked, she does her abortions with her teeth. |
| 5 |
What is the only way to abort kids in the US?Wait for them to go to school and get gunned down. |
| 6 |
What do you call a girl who has had 10 abortions?She’s a graveyard. |
| 7 |
Why abortions are so fun for women?It really brings out the kid in them! |
| 8 |
What’s worse than locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?Having to go in and ask for a coathanger. |
| 9 |
Where is the abort button on a pregnant woman?The belly button if you hit it hard enough. |
| 10 |
Daughter: Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?Father: Ask your sister.Daughter: I don’t have a si….! |
| 11 |
What’s the difference between an American and a computer?A computer has troubleshooting. Also, it can abort. |
| 12 |
Why the easiest abortion a surgeon performs is on a stripper?It’s like taking a baby from Candy. |
| 13 |
Yo mama so fat, she just roll over to get an abortion in a neighboring state. |
| 14 |
A congressional aide asks a politician, “What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?” The politician replied, “Shhhhh, just pay it.” |
| 15 |
What do an eraser company and an abortion clinic have in common?They both make money from your mistakes. |
| 16 |
What is abortion in Spanish?“Adios Embryos.” |
| 17 |
What brand of vacuum does the abortion clinic use?Dyson. |
| 18 |
What do you call a cow that gets an abortion?Decaffeinated. |
| 19 |
What do they call the vacuum at the abortion clinic?Woomba. |
| 20 |
What do they call aborted fetuses in Prague?Cancelled Czechs. |
| 21 |
Why should Abortion clinics be banned?Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic. |
| 22 |
What do you call a failed abortion?Survival of the fetus. |
| 23 |
What’s the best thing about abortion jokes?They never get old. |
| 24 |
A girl walks into a “no questions asked” abortion clinic.The nurse says, “How can I help you?”The girl says, “LYING BASTARDS!” and leaves. |
| 25 |
What do they call an abortion in Hogwarts?Fetus, deletus. |
| 26 |
What do you call the winner of the beauty pageant for teenagers who’ve had an abortion?Little miss conception. |
| 27 |
What did one twin say to the other after surviving a failed abortion?“They will never de-fetus.” |
| 28 |
What do you call a gamer who works at an abortion clinic?Spawn camper. |
| 29 |
Why are Catholics so anti-abortion?So they have a good supply of young children in their foster homes for the priests. |
| 30 |
What’s the best thing about being an abortion doctor?You don’t have to buy dog food. |
| 31 |
Do you know that Religious people get mad about abortions because they think it’s killing babies?They must’ve forgotten what Passover was about. |
| 32 |
Why should you never eat out a woman who had an abortion?That shit is haunted. |
| 33 |
How is a vampire similar to an abortion clinic?They both suck the life out of you. |
| 34 |
What did the army of starving cannibals say when they walked into an abortion clinic in Mexico?“Feed us fetus fajitas!” |
| 35 |
Why is Alabama against abortion?What happens to a family, stays in the family. |
| 36 |
What do you call a decision to not get an abortion?A de-termination. |
| 37 |
What did the baby that got aborted in 4.5 months say to its mother?You had me in the first half. |
| 38 |
What do you call a body building teenager who is against abortion?100% protein. |
| 39 |
What has 12 legs, 3 hearts, and 5 heads?The back of an abortion clinic. |
| 40 |
What’s the easiest way for a woman in Texas to legally get an abortion?Trespass on someone’s property. |
| 41 |
What do you call the dumpster of an abortion clinic?Fetus fight club. |
| 42 |
How are a man’s penis and a man’s opinion on abortion similar?Most women will welcome them, but not when you try to shove it down their throat. |
| 43 |
Did you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger has opened an abortion clinic?He called it ‘The Sperminator.’ The motto? “Hasta la vista, baby!” |
| 44 |
What’s pink and red, and climbs up women’s legs?A homesick abortion. |
| 45 |
What if Mary had aborted Jesus?Then he would have reappeared in her womb three days later? |
| 46 |
Do you know that with the right delivery, any joke can be funny except abortion jokes?Because there is no delivery. |
| 47 |
What kind of person do you see leaving an abortion clinic?It may seem obvious, but it’s not apparent. |
| 48 |
What do you call two abortions in a bucket?Blood brothers. |
| 49 |
What’s the best way for a woman to lose weight?An abortion. |
| 50 |
Where did the cactus go for an abortion?Plant Parenthood. |
| 51 |
What do you call an aborted Italian?A boneless pizza. |
| 52 |
What do you call a toddler at an abortion clinic?A ghost. |
| 53 |
What do spiders and abortions have in common?You take a paper towel and throw it out the window. |
| 54 |
What do you call a gay abortion?A wet fart. |
| 55 |
What do you say when a computer teacher has an abortion?System.exit(0) |
| 56 |
What’s a very late abortion called?A shotgun of course. |