| 1 |
Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, you take 5 shots. |
| 2 |
Did you know that Oscar Pistorius is granted parole and going to be released from prison?The conditions of his parole require him to wear an ankle monitor at all times. |
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Oscar Pistorius will remain under house arrest following his release from prison.South African police have installed a cattle grid outside his home. |
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Oscar Pistorius is getting out on January 5th.Lock Up Your Daughters (not in the toilet)! |
| 5 |
Why are most people not surprised that Oscar Pistorius was released for good behavior?Apparently, he never put a foot wrong the whole time he was inside. |
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Did you hear that Oscar Pistorius is going to release his autobiography?In true South African style, he named it ‘The Long Crawl to Freedom’. |
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Why does Oscar Pistorius want a new bathroom door?His girlfriend is dead against it. |
| 8 |
Roses are red,Violets are glorious,I wouldn’t surprise,Oscar Pistorius. |
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Reeva Steenkamp didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her.It was the silence of the limbs. |
| 10 |
Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius?Not the first South African with a race problem. |
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What’s next for Oscar now that he has been granted parole?Whatever it is, let’s hope he lands on his feet. |
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Do you remember when Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able-bodied athletes?Who knew he meant OJ Simpson?! |
| 13 |
Knock, knock.(Who’s There?)Bang Bang.(Bang Bang Who?)Oscar Pistorius. |
| 14 |
What should Oscar Pistorius’s enemies know about?Just because he has no legs doesn’t mean he’s unarmed. |
| 15 |
What’s not possible about Valentine’s Day?That Oscar Pistorius is the first man to wake up legless on Valentine’s Day and shoot all over the missus while imagining she’s someone else! |
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Why did Oscar Pistorius kill his girlfriend?Because she bought him shoes for Valentine’s. |
| 17 |
What do you call a room full of dead people?An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party… or… An Oscar Pistorius St Valentine’s Day Massacre. |
| 18 |
The police had Pistorius locked in the interrogation room. After 4 grueling hours of questioning, Oscar continued to maintain his innocence.Finally, the sergeant loses patience and says, “There was nobody else in your residence. If you didn’t shoot her, then damn it, who did.”Pistorius replies, “I’m stumped.” |
| 19 |
Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius’s incredible record of wins to his name?Six gold medals, four silver medals, and one argument. |
| 20 |
Let’s be honest.Oscar Pistorius will never set foot in a prison. |
| 21 |
OJ Simpson, Scott Peterson, and Oscar Pistorius walk into a bar.All three order a Bloody Mary. |
| 22 |
Roses are red,Violets are Glorious,Don’t play hide and go seek with Oscar Pistorius. |
| 23 |
Do you know what made Oscar Pistorius so angry at his girlfriend?She was looking at another man’s legs. |
| 24 |
Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his trial?Because from a legal point, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. |
| 25 |
What if Oscar Pistorius’s lower legs hadn’t been amputated?He would have been an un-de-feeted champion. |
| 26 |
Are we sure that Oscar Pistorius was the only one involved in the murder of his girlfriend?Someone else may well have done the leg work. |
| 27 |
What if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius?It shouldn’t be called ‘Bladerunner’, it should be called ‘taking the Pisstorius’. |
| 28 |
Roses are red,Violets are glorious,Don’t ever sneak up,On Oscar Pistorius. |
| 29 |
What’s the difference between your girlfriend and an intruder?Nothing because you’re Oscar Pistorius. |
| 30 |
Oscar Pistorius has had a fortunate life in one regard.He’s never been troubled by Athlete’s foot. |
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Recommnended: Funny No Arms No Legs Jokes |
| 32 |
Why prison is the best place for Oscar Pistorius?The toilets there don’t have doors. |
| 33 |
Who is the only White South African to take a knee?Oscar Pistorius. |
| 34 |
What’s the quickest way to turn a blonde into a redhead?Ask Oscar Pistorius. |