| 1 |
What does ‘Paralympics’ stand for?It doesn’t. |
| 2 |
Freestyle rap is being added as an event at the Special Olympics.It’s a great way to showcase people with dis abilities. |
| 3 |
What has 9 heads, 5 legs and 2 arms?An o*gy at the Paralympic village. |
| 4 |
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?Not being retarded. |
| 5 |
A person was arrested at the Special Olympics.The person was unarmed. |
| 6 |
What’s the main rule of the Insomnia Olympics?You snooze, You lose. |
| 7 |
What do the Special Olympics and a hand job have in common?You appreciate the effort but you could do it better. |
| 8 |
What would be the main event at the Immigrant Olympics?Cross country. |
| 9 |
Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling. |
| 10 |
Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics.They tested positive for WD40. |
| 11 |
Why isn’t diving an event in the Special Olympics?It’s a pain in the a** to retrieve the wheelchairs. |
| 12 |
What did the winner of the Special Olympics get?Atrophy. |
| 13 |
There are so many politically correct terms for disabled people nowadays.Things like “Special needs,” “Special ed,” and “Special Olympics,”That’s why it worries one so much when they hear of the “special forces” going to war. |
| 14 |
What’s the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics. |
| 15 |
A bus from the Special Olympics crashed when they skidded on a freshly paved highway.It was because they re-tarred it. |
| 16 |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a Special Olympics office?Grant. |
| 17 |
What’s better than winning silver at the Paralympics?Having legs. |
| 18 |
What do you call the Special Olympics swimming pool?Vegetable soup. |
| 19 |
What do you call a Special Olympics team?A salad. |
| 20 |
What’s the similarity between marriage and the Special Olympics?Even though you win you still lose. |
| 21 |
Did you know the entry fee for the Paralympics is really high?It costs an arm and a leg. |
| 22 |
Why isn’t there golf in the Paralympics?Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was. |
| 23 |
What kind of tea gets you into the Special Olympics?Disability. |
| 24 |
Why are there changing rooms in the Paralympics?Because vegetables are better with dressing. |
| 25 |
What’s the difference between the Olympic long-distance race and the Paralympic long-distance race?A lap. |
| 26 |
What’s good about being a thief in Saudi Arabia?Someday you could make their Paralympic team. |
| 27 |
What’s the difference between the Academy Awards and the Paralympics?In the Paralympics Blade Runner is an Oscar-winning performance. |
| 28 |
Why would a table have an advantage in the Olympics?Because it has a leg up on the competition. |
| 29 |
Why are the Paralympics barely broadcasted on TV?Even the cameras are disabled. |
| 30 |
What are combat sports in the Paralympics called?Partial arts. |
| 31 |
Are the guards at the Paralympics armed?Or is that considered cheating. |
| 32 |
What was the name of the Chinese guy who a gold in the Paralympics?Lim Ping. |
| 33 |
What do you call the female Olympics?The Paralympics. |
| 34 |
Did you hear about the all-virgin female Olympic 100-yard dash?It’s a tight race. |
| 35 |
Have you heard the theme song for the Paralympics?They see me rolling. |
| 36 |
Did you hear about the Viagra Olympics?The competition is stiff. |
| 37 |
Why arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics?Even if you win, you’re still retarded. |
| 38 |
Why did they think the Special Olympics high jumper was bipolar?He had Ups and Downs. |