| 1 |
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell.They come with an Elon Musk. |
| 2 |
What’s a Tesla driver’s favourite lane to drive in?The far-right. |
| 3 |
Did you know Tesla came out with a model exclusively in Canada?It’s a Model Eh. |
| 4 |
What do you call a stolen Tesla?An Edison. |
| 5 |
Yo mama so fat, when a Tesla wants to drive around her, it has to charge 4 times. |
| 6 |
What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?3Musketeers. |
| 7 |
Did you hear that Elon Musk announced an Odd location for the New Tesla Factory?It’s in Mad-at-gas-car. |
| 8 |
What happens when a Tesla drifts?It’s called the electric slide. |
| 9 |
Tesla recalls 376,241 vehicles due to a power steering issue.Apparently they’ve all started making uncontrollable hard-right turns. |
| 10 |
Two friends chat and one brags about his new car.“So I got a new Tesla Model 2, it drives itself!”“Nice! Where is it?”“No idea…” |
| 11 |
Elon Musk is getting offended that people are calling Tesla Cars “Swastikars.”He’s Fuhrious about it. |
| 12 |
Did you hear about Tesla’s new slogan?“Why zig when you can sieg!” |
| 13 |
What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?They both got rich off of Tesla. |
| 14 |
Did you hear Tesla’s third vehicle will be a three-wheeled motorcycle?They’re going to call it The Third Trike. |
| 15 |
What’s the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S?The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year. |
| 16 |
Besides Elon Musk, what do Tesla and SpaceX have in common?They explode. |
| 17 |
A snail crawls into a Tesla dealership.A salesman asks how he can help. The snail says, “I want a Model S.”The salesman scoffs and says, “You’re a snail. Why would you want a Tesla Model S?”The snail sadly replies, “Nobody ever pays attention or even notices me. I can’t seem to make friends or meet girls. I figure if they see me speeding by in my Tesla, they’ll finally say, “Wow! Look at that S car go!” |
| 18 |
Why does Mr. T drive a Tesla?Because he pities the fuel. |
| 19 |
Did you hear that a lot of people want a Tesla Roadster?But the price keeps skyrocketing! |
| 20 |
Why did Elon Musk send a Tesla into outer space?When NASA sent a Challenger up, it didn’t go so well. |
| 21 |
Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?Because he didn’t like DC. |
| 22 |
What will Tesla name their electric lawnmower?E-Lawn. |
| 23 |
Tesla has announced they are going to build the world’s biggest battery.Yet it still won’t last a day on an iPhone. |
| 24 |
Did you hear what they’re calling this Tesla scandal?Elongate, it’s gonna be really drawn out. |
| 25 |
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to commit su*cide?She closed her garage door,And sat in her Tesla,While she left it running. |
| 26 |
If Tesla made a gun, what would it be called?Elon Musk-et. |
| 27 |
Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.It’ll be A-new-bus. |
| 28 |
Imagine missing a payment on a Tesla,And the car drives itself back to the dealership. |
| 29 |
What’s the difference between a Tesla and an ambulance?You can afford a ride in a Tesla. |
| 30 |
Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla.It’s been named Carpatchio. |
| 31 |
Did you know that when someone gets run over by a Tesla, it isn’t considered Vehicular Manslaughter?They call it an electric car battery! |
| 32 |
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?A porcupine carries its pricks on the outside. |
| 33 |
What do you call a criminal driving a Tesla?A Joule Thief. |
| 34 |
Why aren’t Teslas selling in Russia?Because they don’t have reliable electricity, and they will be Stalin. |
| 35 |
Did you hear about Elon Musk sending a Tesla car into space?To drift for all eternity. |
| 36 |
Who solved the mystery of the stolen Tesla?Sherlock Ohms. |
| 37 |
Now that Elon Musk has launched his Tesla Roadster into orbit, why is space soon going to be full of diseases?Because it’s no longer auto immune. |
| 38 |
What did the German boy say after pushing his brother out of a Tesla?“Look Mom, No Hans.” |
| 39 |
What’s your opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?Think it has a sharp design. |
| 40 |
What did Peter Parker say to Elon Musk?“With great power comes great electricity bill.” |
| 41 |
Where do Tesla cars go to pray?An Elon mosque. |
| 42 |
What do you call an elephant that runs Tesla?Elon Tusk! |
| 43 |
What is the first song that should be played in every new Tesla?Metallica – Battery. |
| 44 |
Tried auto pilot in my Tesla in Germany.It went straight to Poland. |
| 45 |
What kind of insect can go from 0-60 mph in under 3 seconds?A moth on a Tesla’s windshield. |