| 1 |
Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field. |
| 2 |
What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta. |
| 3 |
How do you organize a space party?You planet. |
| 4 |
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts. |
| 5 |
Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired. |
| 6 |
What did one wall say to the other?“I’ll meet you at the corner!” |
| 7 |
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything. |
| 8 |
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?Nacho cheese. |
| 9 |
What did the zero say to the eight?“Nice belt!” |
| 10 |
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?In case he got a hole in one. |
| 11 |
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?Sofishticated. |
| 12 |
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?Because it felt crummy. |
| 13 |
What do you call a factory that makes good products?A satisfactory. |
| 14 |
Why did the chicken join a band?Because it had the drumsticks. |
| 15 |
What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear. |
| 16 |
How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together. |
| 17 |
Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems. |
| 18 |
Why did the coffee file a police report?It got mugged. |
| 19 |
How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut. |
| 20 |
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot. |
| 21 |
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?Because all the fans left. |
| 22 |
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?A labracadabrador. |
| 23 |
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?They’d crack each other up. |
| 24 |
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?Nothing but let out a little wine. |
| 25 |
What do you call a snowman in the summer?A puddle. |
| 26 |
Why did the banana go to the doctor?Because it wasn’t peeling well. |
| 27 |
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?Nothing, they just waved. |
| 28 |
Why are fish so smart?Because they swim in schools. |
| 29 |
What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?Alphawetical. |
| 30 |
Once I read a book about glue.I couldn’t put it down. |
| 31 |
How does the rancher keep track of his cattle?With a cow-culator. |
| 32 |
What does a painter do when he gets cold?Puts on another coat. |
| 33 |
Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling? |
| 34 |
Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?Too many cheetahs. |
| 35 |
Why did the computer catch cold?It left a window open. |
| 36 |
Why did the bedding hide their relationship?They just wanted something pillow-key. |
| 37 |
What’s a zebra?A couple sizes bigger than an A. |
| 38 |
What’s the most detail-oriented ocean?The Pacific. |
| 39 |
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?They have the best batter. |
| 40 |
What do lawyers wear to work?Law suits. |
| 41 |
If you see a burglary at an Apple store, you become an iWitness. |
| 42 |
What do you call a baby sheep that knows karate?A lamb chop. |
| 43 |
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?A spec-tater. |
| 44 |
What makes a basketball court trendy and accessorized?The hoops. |
| 45 |
Why’d the roofer go to the doctor?He had shingles. |
| 46 |
How do you fix a broken tomato?With tomato paste. |
| 47 |
How can you mend a broken pumpkin?Use a pumpkin patch. |
| 48 |
How much money does a skunk have?Just one scent. |
| 49 |
What did the ocean say to the beach?Nothing. It just waved. |
| 50 |
Why are pigs bad drivers?They hog the road. |
| 51 |
What should you do if you meet a giant?Use big words. |
| 52 |
What invention allows us to see through walls?Windows. |
| 53 |
Why did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog?“It’s a dog eat dog world out there.” |
| 54 |
Why are fish so smart?Because they swim in schools. |
| 55 |
Getting paid to sleep is a true dream job. |
| 56 |
What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?Alphawetical. |
| 57 |
Once I read a book about glue.I couldn’t put it down. |
| 58 |
How does the rancher keep track of his cattle?With a cow-culator. |
| 59 |
What does a painter do when he gets cold?Puts on another coat. |
| 60 |
Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling? |
| 61 |
Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?Too many cheetahs. |
| 62 |
Why did the computer catch cold?It left a window open. |
| 63 |
Why did the bedding hide their relationship?They just wanted something pillow-key. |
| 64 |
What’s a zebra?A couple sizes bigger than an A. |
| 65 |
What’s the most detail-oriented ocean?The Pacific. |
| 66 |
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?They have the best batter. |
| 67 |
What do lawyers wear to work?Law suits. |
| 68 |
If you see a burglary at an Apple store, you become an iWitness. |
| 69 |
What do you call a baby sheep that knows karate?A lamb chop. |
| 70 |
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?A spec-tater. |
| 71 |
What makes a basketball court trendy and accessorized?The hoops. |
| 72 |
Why’d the roofer go to the doctor?He had shingles. |
| 73 |
How do you fix a broken tomato?With tomato paste. |
| 74 |
How can you mend a broken pumpkin?Use a pumpkin patch. |
| 75 |
How much money does a skunk have?Just one scent. |
| 76 |
What did the ocean say to the beach?Nothing. It just waved. |
| 77 |
Why are pigs bad drivers?They hog the road. |
| 78 |
What should you do if you meet a giant?Use big words. |
| 79 |
What invention allows us to see through walls?Windows. |
| 80 |
Why did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog?“It’s a dog eat dog world out there.” |
| 81 |
Why are fish so smart?Because they swim in schools. |
| 82 |
Getting paid to sleep is a true dream job. |
| 83 |
What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?Alphawetical. |
| 84 |
Once I read a book about glue.I couldn’t put it down. |
| 85 |
How does the rancher keep track of his cattle?With a cow-culator. |
| 86 |
What does a painter do when he gets cold?Puts on another coat. |
| 87 |
Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling? |
| 88 |
Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?Too many cheetahs. |
| 89 |
Why did the computer catch cold?It left a window open. |
| 90 |
Why did the bedding hide their relationship?They just wanted something pillow-key. |
| 91 |
What’s a zebra?A couple sizes bigger than an A. |
| 92 |
What’s the most detail-oriented ocean?The Pacific. |
| 93 |
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?They have the best batter. |
| 94 |
What do lawyers wear to work?Law suits. |
| 95 |
If you see a burglary at an Apple store, you become an iWitness. |
| 96 |
What do you call a baby sheep that knows karate?A lamb chop. |
| 97 |
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?A spec-tater. |
| 98 |
What makes a basketball court trendy and accessorized?The hoops. |
| 99 |
Why’d the roofer go to the doctor?He had shingles. |
| 100 |
Why did the man put his money in the blender?He wanted to make some liquid assets. |
| 101 |
Why did the man put his clock under his desk?He wanted to work overtime. |
| 102 |
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?A maybe. |
| 103 |
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?A thesaurus. |
| 104 |
What do you call a group of musical whales?An orca-stra. |
| 105 |
Why did the computer go to the doctor?Because it had a virus. |