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Kotex Caper

By Eibhlinn An Calleach

The 'Kotex' Caper....

Awe.... A nice peaceful calm sunny day.... (so I think)

As I set and ponder quietly along the way.

Quiet.... No one up. Just me you see....

Ahhhhhh I sigh, yawn, and stretch with content....

Not realizing Fate was a out to mess with me all hell bent

So I sip on my soda and turn on the TV placidly....

My daughter awakes with a start and no luck.

As her period with vengeance had struck...

So I hurry to the car for a kotex run you see....

When to my astomishment There is the tree....

My beautiful tree that has brought me years of glee...

Laying ontop of my car I decree...

So being the wise person that I am

I grabbed the bike and off I ran.

I hit a pothole and over the bars I did flip

Now I have a terrible pinch in my hip....

So to continue upon my way as you may see

Broken tree, damaged car, bent bike, why me?

I rounded a curve - about got ran over by a truck....

I make it to the store finally by sheer luck...

As I hury to aisle six for a tampon emergency you see

I slip and fall over the mop Bucket SERIOUSLY.....

I pick myself up off the floor, just in time to get hit

As a shopper, cart in tow, round the corner, too quick.

I continued on my way and made it to aisle six

Just in time to witness some back woods Hicks

Guess what they did... I cried Noooooo. Too late...

They grabbed the last box of Kotex I state...

I approach them asking if I can buy that box instead...

BiG mistake. They kit me in the head. With Kotex I dread.

So after the BIG Kotex debate, and the police was called

No charges were filed to my relief. Thank God I bawled....

ALWAYS.... My Daughter is getting Always - THAT'S iT!!!

I AM going back home, going to bed, ending this day quick.

So I make it to the register. To my dismay. No Money I say.

Can this day get any worse? I stress. Don't challenge Fate.....

The lovely little ole couple, in line behind me, say I will pay...

Now I'm like -Thank You God. Filled with relief and on my way

I thank them and leave with my treasured ALWAYS...

I get a block from the store when to my dismay, the cops stop me...

After some questions, off to jail I go, I'm INNOCENT I plea

My daughters ALWAYS - purchased with a stolen card you see.

Now I need a lawyer, and Bail Money.... I decree....

A Go Fund Me account has been established you see...

With that said I pray a Blessed Day to thee....

The moral to my story TIs Sad....

If your child needs maxi pads send Dad!!!